The Almighty Lappie

Did you know a couple of small herbs can ruin a paint job? No, I’m not over exaggerating…

Ok, so after I moved into my apartment I painted it. It was the very first time in my life that I got to paint a place for me. Normally I painted the apartment for tenants. Something very neutral (white), and clean (white), and boring. But this time, I painted it for me. And I had the most fabulous time! Slightly freaked out about the choices of colours, but it worked out. That feeling I had the first day after the second coat was on. The old place was transformed! And I could not believe how much fun it was to decorate my own place…for me!

Anyway, so now all my windowsills, and door frames, and trimmings are brand spanking new. Until I got my herbs in the kitchen window. I admit, I’m terrible with plants, you just have to follow their Instagram account to see just how crappy I am. And every now and again I may give them a tad too much water and then some water spills onto the windowsill. And that water actually freaking stains! No matter what I have used, there are brown water stains on my fresh paint (insert frustrated snort). Just have a look at the bloody pic.

I can either paint it, again (and probably every week for the foreseeable future). OR. Make something. So I did. I found some hessian string in one of the boxes that are still unpacked (more about the bookshelves-that-aren’t at another time) and crocheted a lappie. A lap in Afrikaans is a piece of cloth or a rag, and a lappie generally refers to a decorative cloth one would put on side tables, tables, or wherever there is a clear piece of anything horizontal in a house. I am not a fan of the lappie. Not at all. And it is a firm traditon in our family to crochet, knit, embroider, paint…you name it, (and all the other types of craft) lappies. I have heirloom crocheted lappies made by grandmother, great-aunts, and mom safely stowed away from moths and dust. Who knows, maybe one day I will wake up and suddenly loves lappies. Weirder things have happened.

Despite their very retro (read extremely old-fashioned and granny-ish) look, lappies do have a purpose. They protect the surface of whatever they’re on from dust, water, general daily mishaps, and hide ugly surfaces (very important note). Sooooooo, I made a fucking lappie. From hessian.

This is a very easy pattern. I used the hessian rope in the picture below (about a chunky wool weight and 6.5mm crochet hook).

I’m by no means a pattern developer, but this is a very easy rectangular piece of crochet work. I’m also assuming you have some crochet experience (I mean, you literally need only to know two stitches). You will be using chain stitches and double crochet (US terminology or treble crochet if you are used to UK terminology). You will also need some plasters to protect the finger you use to feed the hessian string. The string is hard and ate into my finger like a bitch. I could only do 2-3 rows at a time until I put a plaster on my finger as a buffer, and voila, things were much easier and I finished the lappie in less than an hour.

• Chain 11
• Double Crochet in the second chain from hook
• Double Crochet in each chain.
• Turn, chain two, double crochet in each of the previous row’s double crochet until end of row.
• Repeat until the desired length has been achieved, or hessian rope runs out.

I hate weaving ends in, and if you look carefully, they are just tucked under the lappie.

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But now the ugly stains are hidden under the lappie. And even if I have to say so myself, I think I dragged the humble lappie to a place where it could almost (yes, I’m stretching things a bit here) be juuuuuuuust north of cool. Not really cool, but almost. Ugh, I can hear the women of my tribe clucking their I-told-you-so’s….

And now I see that my freaking herb pots are seriously ugly AF. Sigh….next DIY loading.

Charlotte